Added: Andreia Fray - Date: 07.09.2021 02:36 - Views: 38657 - Clicks: 3033
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer , and support Mumsnet. Shall I wait before ing up to online dating? My self esteems pretty shit, and would be better once I've lost weight. But I'm very lonely. I think you need to feel happy and confident in yourself.
If you feel happy to meet people now, then do, if not, wait until you do. There are plenty of men who won't care what size you are. Just be honest with your photos, change them every time you go down ten pounds. I think meeting people would be good for you, it might give you a bit of confidence. No, I'm a bit chunky. Doesn't matter a jot. I went on lots of lovely dates and met my lovely DP. If you think that losing weigh would make you feel happier why not aim to lose a stone before ing up?
Losing could take a year and do you want to wait that long? Your size doesn't matter one bit. I'm a stone ok, maybe nearly 2 overweight and dabble in internet dating from time to time. But I genuinely think I look good and think I'm a decent catch. So if someone isn't interested or suddenly stops contacting me I just shrug it off and move on. The key is confidence and self esteem. Don't date without it because you'll need it. So if losing weight will give you that then wait. But don't put your life on hold for it. Online dating can be brutal and not because you are overweight.
Make sure you are in the right place mentally and from a self confidence point of view before embarking on this. Knock backs can hit your self esteem and confidence. Don't date, especially online, until you have sorted out your self esteem and you feel happier with yourself. You need to have a hide like a rhino for OLD as it is, so it can make the more delicate amongst us feel utterly shit. I did online dating when I was a couple of stone overweight.
I wasn't totally honest with the photos I put up as I put up older slimmer ones of me. Every single date I went on rejected me after the first couple of dates, and one or two admitted it was because I was bigger than my photos.
I since lost 2 stone and my self esteem is a million times better. I had lots of fabulous dates and have now met my lovely DP. So my advice would be to either use up to date full length photos that give a true reflection of your size, or wait until you have lost a bit and are feeling more confident.
It's more important to be in the right place mentally, and to know that even if somebody does come in to your life, and a closeness does seem to develop, that you're resilient enough and independent enough and content enough to spring back quickly if they disappear or go back on line or tell you you're not what they're looking for, or that despite what they said first, a relationship is not what they're looking for, or if it turns out they're really stressed and busy and irritated all the time and you want out, or they turn out to be more boring than you first thought Try and lose a bit for yourself I suppose.
There are lo of overweight men on line though. Message them while you're feeling self-conscious. I've done two years of OLD on and off and I feel now I'm more focused on connection and two personalities complimenting each other than I was when I began. I recently connected with this guy and he's so odd, if I'd met him two years ago I would have written him off instantly. Whatever your weight, with online dating you will be attractive to some and not to others. That may, or may not, be because of your weight and rejection of you or by you is an inevitable part of the process sadly.
Your self esteem doesn't have to be linked to your weight and, as posters have said, lose weight for yourself rather than others. If you don't manage to lose weight, how long will you be lonely for? I echo using full length recent photos - don't be tempted just to use hehot selfies taken from a great height. Good luck. OLD isnt guerilla warfare. It's supposed to be light hearted fun , a bit like going out for a night, where you never know, you might be the person of your dreams.
If you're going into it but your shit self esteem to the fore then you're inviting yourself to be knocked down and that will be your own doing. You're brilliant as you are and life is happening now, so if you want to do it, go and do it, no excuses!!
Finding a man for either a few dates or longer term is not the answer to your loneliness. You need to make yourself happy not wait for someone to come along and fill that void. You will also feel shit of you are dumped, possibly blame your weight and it might throw you back into a cycle of overeating, weight gain and being unhappy.
Get out and make friends, clubs, get more girlfriends to stop yourself feeling lonely, and then you are ready to meet men. Some men like larger women, some don't. But in general, yes, men prefer slimmer women - plenty of surveys show that. But your weight is not your real issue- it's your self esteem and loneliness. You are not in the right place for OLD where men dip in and out as if it's a sweet shop. Already have a Mumsnet ? Log in. Talk ». Shall I wait to lose weight before online dating? Add message Report.
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Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain't Nobody Got Time for That