Added: Obie Decicco - Date: 24.01.2022 06:36 - Views: 23302 - Clicks: 6183
But I think the quote misappropriates the injury. Someone can only injury our sense of worth if we believe that our worth can be compromised by another person. The liar le a person to believe one thing while actually doing something different. But lies have nothing to do with the worth of the person being lied to. Lies are really about the sense of self worth of the liar. So ashamed — and scared — that they feel they have to make something up in order to avoid the perceived consequences of telling the truth.
But they only further deepen the poisoning effects shame and the effects of withholding the truth. It takes tremendous energy to uphold a lie because the liar has to remember all the constructed details of their lie and carry it with them throughout the relationship.
And the energy spent protecting the lie is energy that could be spent nurturing the relationship or nurturing the self. This is why lies feel so depleting and awful to live with. They drain the vitality out of relationships and they shred the fabric of true intimacy. It takes faith, courage, and hope to be able to see the possible consequences of telling the truth, but share your truth any way. In standing in our truth we open ourselves up criticism, but we also open ourselves up to the possibility of authentic relationships. We open ourselves up to the possibility of change.
Authentic relationships and deep intimacy only come from being in our truth. They erode trust and create a relationship based on fear, rather than a relationship based in love and trust. The antidote to the poisonous effects of lies is to create a safe space for the truth, a safe space for authenticity in all your relationships.
Lies come from people who are so desperate for approval that they would compromise the integrity of the relationship to deny the truth. If you feel betrayed, feel betrayed. Those are normal emotional responses and to deny them in your self would also be an act of denying truth. Punishing the other person is really an act of trying to control and intimidate them.
It will only breed more fear. The other person may continue to lie. You did not perpetuate the Soap Opera! You notice how Soap Operas are just one betrayal after another? It makes for entertaining TV, but translates into unhealthy, miserable real life relationships. There are complexities you may not have dealt with before in a dating situation.
His kids. His ex. His marital status. And all the drama in between. I totally feel you. I promise. Ready to improve your relationship and overall happiness? Click the button below to get all the details, view my calendar I usually have some openings every week , and conveniently book a session:. Download my free Relationship Choice Assessment to help you get started. Do you have the support you need to achieve your relationship goals? Working with a qualified professional relationship coach helps you minimize heartbreak, avoid pitfalls and dating traps, and accelerate your success toward finding the partnership you really want.
How do you get him to prioritize you and your relationship?? Click the button below to get all the details, view my calendar I usually have some openings every week , and conveniently book a session: Book Your Session Now. Relationship Choice Assessment :. We respect your privacy. Comments […] Lying to you about his marital status, not being real with you, is a big red flag. I agree! Thanks so much for your comment! Best, Melissa. Footer Do you have the support you need to achieve your relationship goals? Contact Melissa.How to get over a lie in a relationship
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How to Deal with Lies in a Relationship