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By: Stephanie Kirby. You know your boyfriend's a good guy. He treats you right, and he feels like a perfect match for you. Perhaps he has quickly become your best friend because you spend hours a day talking to him. Telling someone you love them for the first time can be scary. Love implies commitment. And how do you know if you want to commit to this person? If you're going to say, "I love you," you want to be certain that it's true.
There are several ways to know for sure. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. There's a difference between love and being in love. We'll discuss those differences below, including ways to tell if you love your boyfriend. Some of the ways include asking yourself:. What are the odds of finding true love? They worked with a mathematician that calculated factors such as population s, physical attraction, age range, and more.
They determined that your chance of finding love is somewhere around 1 in And yet, the wedding industry is thriving. If you're wondering if you love your boyfriend, the chances might be a lot better than eHarmony predicts. Either you have strong feelings and are moving in that direction-or perhaps you're realizing it's not a great fit, which means you can get ready to move on and find the person who is. Either way, asking yourself, "Do I love my boyfriend? When people ask if they love their partner, they are often looking for that rush we call being in love.
It is that feeling often portrayed by romantic movies and novels. The butterflies in the tummy, the feeling of perfection, and all those feelings associated with a new love. But like all emotions, that high cannot last forever. It has a time limit. The joyous feeling of being in love is not the same as loving someone. When you love someone, you make loving actions to build that bond. That's what love is-building a secure and honest bond with someone. It is making a commitment to be with someone for as long as you can. That feeling of being in love is wonderful, for sure.
It's something most people enjoy. It is very common when it is your first time in a relationship or a new romantic guy friend. But the key to a long-lasting relationship is a calmer feeling of knowing someone is always there for you and you for them.
Being in love is often thought of like stars in the eyes and butterflies in the stomach-not the feeling of exhaustion after being up all night listening to a snoring partner with a cold. This is one way of noting the difference between being in love and loving. Love means doing what you should do to make the relationship work.
It is putting that affection you have for your partner to work. Being in love is more like following your normal emotions of attraction for each other. You rarely contribute to it. You just know that you have that strong feeling for that person. We can now see that love is different from being in love. Can an individual be in love and love at the same time? Yes and no. Most couples will experience the euphoria of being in love for a couple of years at best.
The being in love feeling started from the dating period to the engagement time and then the marriage to the honeymoon period. Then the feeling fades, and more realistic love replaces the stars and butterflies. However, even though those original feelings may be diminished, real love is a much stronger bond. The love becomes stronger over time while being in love feeling can still remain. In the meantime, talking to a professional counselor can help you sort out your feelings and determine whether the relationship is healthy.
Why do we need even to have the feelings of being in love? Why can't we just have that deeper real love to start with? Chemicals in our brains are responsible for butterflies' feelings and the endless barrage of thoughts about our partner. This is nature's way of ensuring the continuation of our species. If we are bombarded with a high positive feelings, we are more likely going to want to reproduce with that particular partner.
With that being said, it does not mean we cannot be in love with a partner we love; it just means that the overwhelmingly strong feelings of being in love have ebbed and are more realistic. Feelings of butterflies may always be there when you see your partner; however, they will be from the strong experiences that have tied you together rather than a whirlwind courtship.
Love covers all the feelings, including being in love. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if you love your boyfriend. Just continue reading to view these questions and know if you truly love him. You will surely be able to tell if you are in love or just in love with your guy friend's idea.
The way your partner looks is often part of the initial attraction. The truth is that we get to like someone who appeals to our physical senses. Even if looks are not a high priority, most people at least consider basic hygiene and health, or whether the person's overall style is simple, classy, exquisite, fussy, or in line with theirs.
You are looking for things that speak to your lifestyle. Psychology Today explains that we really aren't looking for models when it comes to physical attraction. It's more about making sure there is at least some moderate level of attraction. One author shares that he's never had a couple fail to create attraction in his years of counseling if there was something to work with initially.
Physical attraction does play a role in love, but if the only reason you are with this person is because of their appearance, he's probably not the best choice for a long-term love relationship. It's a bitter truth. If you're with someone simply because you're used to it or because you have low self-esteem, it's not going to be a happy long-term relationship. And you certainly don't need a boyfriend who makes you feel lousy. While you may have feelings of love, there may also be negative feelings growing as well how your partner makes you feel matters a lot.
Your partner should be able to bolster you. Even if there is a need to criticize something you have done, it should be done with no intention of downgrading your personality. You don't need to have everything in common in order to love a person. But if you want to build a long-term relationship, it's important to have some connection points.
Certain core values of life shared by both of you must be congruent. You may disagree about many things, but your belief that everyone is entitled to their own opinion might be enough. If you cannot agree on simple life matters, it really may not be favorable for a long-lasting relationship. If you find that you frequently disrespect your boyfriend's views, it will be difficult for you to love this person long term.
Do you enjoy spending time with him? Can you not wait to tell him about the funny thing that happened to you at the store? Can you laugh openly about something that should be embarrassing to you? Do you like his presence around you? Are you comfortable with his decisions? Does his opinion matter to you? If these questions and many more have a positive response, you definitely love your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend should be one of your best friends that you can share your top stories with. Or, he should be in your best memories and stories.How to be in love with your boyfriend
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16 Sweet Ways to Show You Love Your Boyfriend